This past year I’ve been in contact with couples who’ve had to change their wedding plans several times because of the situation in 2020. Most of the time it’s started out as this big event with more than 100 people, but as time goes by and the day is getting closer, the number of guests are reducing significantly from week to week and their original plans are being changed at the same speed.
Many of the conversations have been about how to create these special moments to photograph, what blankets to find, what jacket to wear, what would be a great location to meet and what would look good in the photos…
So, it made me think…
As photographers we can quickly get so caught up by social likes, followings, social proof, shares and getting featured that we forget what it’s all about.
And so can you as a couple when planning your wedding.
While the look of the invite, the flowers, colour scheme, type of venue, dress, candles and all the other details are a part of making the day beautiful – it’s not what’s important.
I remember one example from when Adon and I were planning our own wedding. I went to a flower shop and hand picked all the flowers in specific colours for the table settings. I had this specific theme in mind and it would look beautiful. I picked 4 different types of flowers that had a bit of a vintage look with warm orange and wine red colours. They would match the rest of the decor perfectly.
The evening before the big day the delivery truck showed up way later than expected and when he opened the back I was meet with a truck load of… the same bright pink and white flowers. Nothing like what I had ordered. It was so late in the evening that there wasn’t anything to do about it.
I still remember standing there together with my mum, in my flip flops, greasy hair, hungry, tired and we just started laughing.
We made the table decor and, I kid you not, it was so pink. But here’s my point, it actually didn’t matter. No one ever noticed, not even me on the day.
Because it wasn’t important.
What was important was all the friends and family that had flown in from England and used up their holiday savings to come to our wedding just to spend the day with us and make it special. What was important was that instead of spending the time seeing the sights they all came to the venue the day before and helped us set up the place, folding paper pompom’s, putting up lights and my father in law making sure everyone had a cup of tea now and then. What was important was that we were getting married, because that actually meant something.
We don’t remember the colour of the flowers or the sign for drinks that took me hours to make. What I do remember was being so hot because it was in the middle of July and I felt sweat running down my legs under my dress. I remember having time to sit on the grass with my friends drinking bubbles and laughing. I remember the band playing the one song I’d said I didn’t want and all the guests going mad for ’99 luftballon’ (terrible song, hear it if you don’t know it). I remember them finishing off with Sweet Home Alabama while the dance floor was packed, and one of our friends dad had tied his tie around his head like a fighter while dancing his socks off. I remember Adon was drenched in sweat while he gave me a kiss on the middle of the dance floor and looked the happiest he’d ever been. I remember it being the best day!!
So where am I going with this?
What we remember from our day didn’t require a fancy venue, awesome decor or a special dress. It requires you, the one you love and the people you care about… and great music. Always have great music.
So, when planning your wedding, don’t aim to be a Pinterest bride.
Strip your expectations back to what’s important.
To what matters.
Stop and ask: why are we getting married?
No decor, venue, food or dress will matter when it comes to it. It’s all beautiful add ons, but not what you are. Maybe all the people you hoped would come can’t be there in person for difference reasons, maybe things can’t be as you had hoped for or planned because of different factors. If that’s so, adjust your expectations and stay focussed on what matters: you and the one you love.
From me to you – Nanna xx
Let’s finish off with a few unpolished pictures from our wedding back in 2014 taken straight from instagram. What a day!